Thursday, May 31, 2012

Impossible Outcomes.

occasionally I play bike polo with the hnl bike polo gang. last evening as my skull - with only a ball cap and hair as buffers - smashed onto the concrete pavement I regretted being so idiotic. helmets are always a good idea. (photo by jorge portillo)

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Grease Is An Antiseptic.

the past week has yielding some interesting conversation(s). it somewhat began when an acquaintance randomly inquired: “Btw, is The tnr Fb page led by total jackasses? Whats ur input on it? Just,a thought?”

so I wrote back: “input: cycling is a positive activity, promote it as such.” and much to my dismay this was the reply: “I wish they did!? But many times i do not believe they do so. Well i dunno why i let them get in My head.”

a group of bicycling enthusiasts such as TNR - tuesday night ride oahu - ought to reconsider their existence. there is already too many jackass-ery in the world, why add to the cause?

while dispersing funds from an atm, a young kid came skidding his bicycle directly in front of me and asked, “hey, are you a messenger?” I stared at the kid with his baseball cap, lime green rims, sweat pouring down his face and replied, “I was.”

then he became really excited and asked if I could get him a job as a messenger, and what it entailed. I explained to him that messengers these days are basically mobile secretaries running chores. I also advised him to wear a goddamn helmet and that messenger work required patience as standing in lines was part of the job.

“yeah yeah, I’m down to mash,” replied the kid, completely missing every point. instead of correcting him I bid him good luck and repeated the previous advice of sporting a goddamn helmet. “I’ve got three at home,” said the kid as he rushed into traffic, cutting through five lanes. goddamnit.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

An Open Letter to Honolulu Motorists.

dear honolulu motorists,

thank you for driving your truck into an elderly lady in a crosswalk. because of your impatient and negligent actions more automotive traffic was created in surrounding corridors. in turn this caused more impatient motorists to aggressively pursue alternative routes on small residential side streets. all in all, thank you for considering pedestrians and bicyclists in honolulu as inconveniences.

recently honolulu was ranked as america’s worst traffic city by INRIX national traffic scorecard. honolulu has actually surpassed larger cities such as los angeles for foul traffic conditions. all this would sound appropriate if it were not for the glaring fact that honolulu is a city on an island.

honolulu motorists, what is the point of rushing on island? no matter how fast you maneuver your weapon of mass destruction (a car is a weapon if used irresponsibly) it leads the pacific ocean. so unless your automobile has the capacity to become a boat, there should be no point in rushing to your next location - yes?

finally, thank you honolulu motorists for perpetually disregarding bicyclists. it is super nice when your rear view mirror narrowly misses my exposed arm at forty miles per hour. thank you for reminding me that you are faster and stronger then I could ever be.

kindest regards,

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Early News, Nothing Proving.

a few weeks ago, four friends and myself set off to ride one-gear bicycles around the island. in the end only two would finish the adventure. three flats within half an hour exhausted my supply of spare tubes; issac way and myself found ourselves in front of the mormon temple in laie.

aloha saturday is happening soon, kindly attend if it finds you well.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

And What Ever Comes Through The Door.

on the same day hawaii public radio broadcasts a narrative focusing on KVIBE, I received news that the program’s funding will be drastically curtailed - photo courtesy of jorge portillo.

Monday, May 14, 2012

The Laws, We Changed 'Em.

this morning I watched as a line of automobiles honked their horns at a school bus for handicapped students. the school bus was obviously lost and after the intersection it u-turned and went back down the street. I live at a very residential neighborhood so it was extremely baffling to hear commercial traffic so bloody early in the morning. more appalling was the sincere lack of courtesy towards the school bus - this is an island, people.

no matter how foolish automotive traffic is in honolulu, it is not alone. there is a notion that the belgians - the founding fathers of cyclocross - had it all figured out. but after viewing a video of brussels’ absurd traffic through the eyes of a belgian bicycle messenger, there is much to be grateful for. at least in honolulu, motorists pretend to have “aloha” hospitality.

Jumped Off, This Rope’s Gone - Outtakes.

awhile back, I photographed Cycle Manoa during their free bicycle repair outreach. the accompanying article was a snapshot of the directional future of the program - these are the b-side photos.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

It Was Hidden In The Fall.

the lovely ilana nimz is currently on vacation in petaluma. driving along the california coastline she encountered the Rapha support vehicle and spoke with team rider ryan thomson. the Rapha team is currently spectating at the Amgen Tour of California - america’s largest pro bicycle race. it is super rad to see ryan thomson looking healthy after last year’s intense bicycle accident (photo by nimz).

Perks of Stockholm Syndrome.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Best Intentions Are In Need Of Redemptions.

longtime alleycat race organizer cyrus camp, hosted “fool’s errand” on april fool’s day. it was cyrus’ first race since last year’s “where’s waldo” race. as honolulu’s fixed gear scene has shifted from bicycle messenger imitation to track racing on streets, there has been a sore lack of alleycat races. although it was small, it was nice to see an alleycat race occur.

scotty mcnally took first place, followed by john hamilton and molly jenkins. afterwards everyone unwound at makiki district park indulging in pizza and beverages. cyrus’ brother clark bought out his “commuter” bicycle aptly titled “slumber party II” as the first version was confiscated by law enforcement awhile back.

prior to “fool’s errand” there was heated chatter about race logistics. much of the argument stemmed from the moral conundrums of charging for an alleycat race - and if the participants actually received the money. my hope is that both organizers and participants support each other and strive to put on more alleycat races.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

I Used to Live in a Voodoo City.

honolulu’s road racing season began in late february. and thus far it has been all precursors - individual time trials - to team road racing. these preliminary moments have afforded opportunities to test out the capacity of track, cargo, and polo bicycles (in that order).

following the last race - tantalus time trial - daniel alexander commented as to why I never raced “with a real bicycle.” I was astonished as I thought all bicycles were real.

the photos above are courtesy of colin cross of hawaii race photos. this weekend is the hawaii state team time trial and my team is so poorly prepared it is destined to be incredible.